The Perfect Crime

What is my perfect crime? Ever since I was little I wanted that king sized bag of candy that has been staring at me through the window of the gas station. It had taken years and years of planning but tonight was finally the night that I could get it. The gas station was a 23 hour store and it was closed from 12pm to 1pm. I made sure it was closed when i went. Do I break through the front doors?? Of course not. It's to obvious. I get a helicopter to fly me in and drop me off on the roof. Why? No one ever expects the aerial attack. Once on the roof me and my accomplice try to get in through the vents but they're locked. It was cold on that hot summer day. I had the helicopter throw down some dynamite somewhat carefully to blow through the ceiling so I do. Once the dust settles I see an opening to the vents on the other side of the roof. Convenient. After getting in and making our way through the maze of vents (after all many of them had been taken out by the dynamite) we finally came upon the candy. It's game time. And slightly warmer. I opened the vent that happens to be above the candy and my accomplice slowly lowers me down that 4 feet to grab it. I am getting more and more nervous as it comes within my reach. As I finally get there my accomplice sneezes and drops me the extra 3 feet to the floor setting off the alarms. Amateur. Everything began to go faster, but do I panic? Of course not. The clerk always leaves the side door unlocked.... except for today. The sirens are coming and yes I panic just a little. I tried everything possible to get out but throwing straws and cups at a window and trying to push the door down probably wouldn't have done much when I think about it now. I look in the parking lot and flashing lights are pulling in. Yes I'm panicking now! Just then I see the PULL sign on the door. I walk out and get in the helicopter and it flies my to my house which is conveniently next door. And guess what. I got the candy.

Complaints

I'm tired of working for minimum wage when the job sucks.
I'm tired of teachers chewing me out when it's not my fault.
I'm tired of winter.
I'm tired of boring class periods and lectures.
I'm tired of trying to impress.
I'm tired of the fork pull.
I'm tired of them.
I'm tired of making an effort to not make it awkward.
I'm tired of this song.
I'm tired of time going to slow.
I'm tired of avoiding because it IS awkward.
I'm tired of people liking me for the stuff I have.
I'm tired of slow drivers.
I'm tired of cops and tickets.

Love is.....

Love is a car accident that is all over the news.
Love is playing the old guitar that sits in the corner.
Love is driving for a month.
Love is listening to music.
Love is working harder for their wants.
Love is carrying your son across the finish line.
Love is spending your time with someone, not because you want to, but because they love it more than anything.

Dear Sister....

Just hit the play icon at the top. Don't worry about the other play and download buttons.

I Wonder....

I wonder why french fries are called french fries. Were they made by a french guy? Who knows. I wonder why cinnamon rolls are so good. I wonder why we eat cereal for breakfast. I wonder why trix are for kids. I wonder why the Pillsbury Doughboy is fat when they have fat free stuff. I wonder why clocks go from 1 to 12. I wonder who invented the guitar. I wonder why earthquakes happen. I wonder who will be at school tomorrow. I wonder if I have work tomorrow. I wonder if I'm even making sense right now. I wonder why it has to be freaking snowing right now. I wonder when that song will come on again. I wonder if it's singing or humming when you're listening to a song with no words and you have your mouth closed but you're making the sounds of the notes. Is it singing or humming? It could be humming because there are no words but it could be singing because there's no words so you could close your mouth to "sing". Don't you just wonder about stuff sometimes?